Nokes, David

OT 282 - West

Date of Death: 25/11/2017

Taken from The Gazette No 67.

David passed away on 25 November 2017 at the age of 77.  His funeral took place on 14 December. The following eulogy was delivered by  Peter Jones:

In the little time I have today, it is impossible to pay an adequate tribute in words on the life of our dear friend David.  The assembly of family and friends here today is, of course, evidence of his far-reaching influence on the lives of so many people.  We are all fortunate to have had the privilege of David playing a part in our lives.

With advancing years, memories fade. When I go upstairs I forget why I went there and when I go downstairs, I remember the reason why I was going upstairs! However, longer-term memory is still good.

Orphaned by the sad early deaths of his mother and father, David was, together with his sister Jill, cared for by his grandmother, Ethel Nokes. Ethel was a talented lady and a successful author of children’s’ books. Sadly, in a German bombing raid the printers with the plates of her books were destroyed and her publications lost. Perhaps David’s lifelong skills as a writer came from his grandmother’s genes?

David had passed his 11 Plus exam and was attending Harrow Grammar School when his grandmother found Ottershaw School for him. He went there in January 1953 and we met when I went to the school in September. That began a lifelong friendship in which he never faltered.

A gifted pupil academically, David had another great talent as a backstroke swimmer. Suffering from poor breathing problems from his early days, he found backstroke was easier than front crawl, which was my stroke!  Throughout our school lives we swam together in the school swimming team recording many successes, individually and in relay teams, in the school and other Surrey County baths.

David was Captain of swimming in his last school year. Our final great success was to win the Senior Medley Relay race in the Surrey Grammar Schools Gala in 1958 in a new record time and coming second overall of the schools competing. Quite an achievement for our small school of 180 boys versus the likes of Kingston, Sutton, Whitgift and Tiffin Grammar Schools! In the same year we beat the Eton School swimming team in their first match in their new outdoor pool.

Also in his final year, David established himself as an excellent gymnast.

 Aside from swimming we came together as students in our GCE  ‘O’ level year, going on to study Maths, Physics and Chemistry to ‘A’ level. David also added ‘A’ level English Literature, which he passed in one year from ‘O’ level.

Throughout his years at Ottershaw, it became clear that David had interests and enthusiasms which distinguished him from other pupils! His production, in his final year at school, of a very palatable tea wine was a clear forerunner of his later interests in life. Many of us here today will have enjoyed his annual output of Sloe Gin!

With a keen interest in motor vehicles, at the age of 16 he decided to take the School Bursar’s car for a midnight ride. It was easily stolen as it was left unlocked with the keys in the ignition. Had he not caused minor damage to the vehicle he might have escaped detection. However, as the damage was identified, a full-scale investigation concluded with David’s confession as the miscreant!

It must be true that David’s outstanding swimming and academic talents saved the day. He was not expelled but allowed to stay on to the 6th form and take his ‘A’ levels. However, his subsequent promotions to house prefect and school prefect positions were unfortunately curtailed when one of the masters, Harry Burrow, apprehended him returning with his friend David Howell from a visit to The Castle pub in nearby Ottershaw village.

Through an altercation with his Chemistry master, David carelessly failed his ‘A’ level, although he was successful in Maths and Physics. He thus needed to study at Ealing College for a year after leaving Ottershaw before easily passing his Chemistry and winning a place at Nottingham University to study Geology.

It has to be said that David’s life at Nottingham was fairly riotous! His interests in enjoying life to the full overrode academic demands.

He had a Douglas Indian motorcycle and side car, GLY 666, which proved invaluable ferrying fellow students to local pubs and fish and chip shops from their student residence, Wortley Hall. The record load of the Douglas, alleged by David, was 10 students!

Unfortunately, David had an accident with the Indian when he lost control rounding a corner in the Guildford Road, colliding with a bus shelter and breaking his leg. That was one summer holiday when his vacation employment was with the Walls pie factory where, on the night shift, he was putting the lids on pork pies.

This was highly paid by comparison with my labouring rate on day work with the Woking Urban District Council, and David generously funded several very happy Saturday evenings with a small band of us in the King’s Head in Guildford. It was from one of these evenings the Indian accident followed.

Having fallen in love with Susan, he curtailed his studies after two years at Nottingham with an early marriage.

David’s career then followed a varied path of occupations beginning with driving a butcher’s delivery van before moving to a similar driving role in dry cleaning, which job also provided a comfortable apartment over the business premises in Fleet.

Now with two sons, Neil and Justin, David moved into insurance selling, where he found almost immediate success. Intelligent, articulate and numerate, he quickly gained our confidence and trust, helping several of us here today to make prudent savings and financial provisions that have been of lifelong benefit.

After his success came the economic downturn in which, sadly, David went through bankruptcy, the loss of his home and the break-up of his marriage to Susan.

More or less immediately, needing work, David was fortunate to be employed by his longtime pal Peter Davis, working for Crowthorne Fencing in a completely new role. I know that David always appreciated Peter’s support at that difficult time in his life.

In sailing trips to St Vaast in France with Peter, he always proved an engaging crew member, for example tying up the ship’s cooker to prevent it from swinging as it was meant to, which was annoying David as he cooked the supper.

On another occasion in St Vaast, after a long session in a bar on shore with the bar owner Roland and his wife Marie Claire, he made Marie Claire a present of the entire ship’s plates, bowls, cups and saucers. His skipper, Peter, was not best pleased with that!

His excellent spoken French won him many friends in the bars and cafes in France on holiday with his old school friend Bill Minett.

Also into this new life came a new wife, Juliet.

From schooldays David had always been a keen lover of classical music, and Juliet brought beauty and a new family and happiness into his life. It was not surprising that Juliet’s parents and family showed great kindness, understanding and love in welcoming David.

Now, at the same time as becoming successful once again in investment finance, he played a central role in supporting Juliet as a professional teacher and performer.

David’s special achievements included raising funds for two new Steinway grand pianos for South Hill Park recital room. That was where Juliet was a teacher, soloist and performer in chamber music concerts with talented friends from the world of professional classical music, and also with her sister Janet and niece Helen, who had been one of her outstanding students.

David would always be there in the audience and at the end of the concert present bouquets of flowers and gifts to the performers. After concerts, many of us were fortunate enough to attend a reception at David and Juliet’s home, where David would have prepared a feast of tasty food and wine. In schooldays we studied together the Prologue to the Canterbury Tales by Chaucer in which one of the pilgrims, a merchant, was described as “Epicurus’s own son” as “it snowed of meat and drink in his house”. That was David.

It is not helpful to relate the story of David’s ill health; suffice it to say life was not easy for him or for his family and friends closest to him in his life when these difficulties arose. He had a lifelong respect and love for his two sons, Neil and Justin, and was especially fortunate in having Juliet’s support and love, especially in the later years of his life

More particularly relevant in David’s life in recent years is the project whereby he and I planned to visit all the cathedrals in England, attending Choral evensong! The visit to a cathedral city usually began with a lunchtime arrival at a Wetherspoon’s pub to consume a best-value meal for two and a pint of real ale. Following this, we would go to the cathedral bookshop and then browse independently before meeting in the choir pews available to members of the public attending the service. On average 35 attendees. The best choristers were probably those of Wells Cathedral, with Winchester coming a close second. We managed some 25 cathedrals over two years and were planning a visit to Ely shortly before David died.  Sadly there are still some 40 visits we will never make together.

Any summary of David’s life would recognise what a talented man he was. He had a brilliance that was never realised, more in the arts than science. Widely read, he was a superb wordsmith, as anyone with whom he corresponded will attest. The Times crossword was a daily mental stimulation. We will always remember his love of Islay malt whisky and his cupboard containing the whiskies of the distilleries on the Road to the Isles!

A small number of us here today are fortunate to have trodden that road with him! A kind and thoughtful friend, he was loving, loyal and attentive when we needed him. Generous in his love, friendship and hospitality, he was never heard to say “I haven’t got time for that.”  As I said earlier, we are fortunate to have had David in our lives. So long as we live, David lives on in our hearts with many memories.

Ladies and gentlemen, let us drink a final toast – to David.