Turner, David
OT 821 - North
Date of Death: 01/02/2018
Extracts from The Gazette No 67
David and I, along with Peter Gay and Brian Stahelin (both of who were to feature later in his life) and several others first met in Masefield, the dormitory in North House, during our first term at Ottershaw. David and I were allocated beds next to each other – either side of a mysterious locked door through which, we were told, a ghost called the Grey Lady sometimes appeared. David and I had little in common other than having the same numerals in our OTT numbers, he being 821 and me 812. That first term was pretty uneventful apart from bouts of home sickness. David’s dad was in the Forces and he had spent time in many far-away locations, the latest being Aden, a place of which he recounted many experiences and which to me sounded most exotic; he also revealed he had an older brother at the school.
In our second term, again in Masefield, David was allowed to keep a small transistor radio with an earpiece, and sometimes in the evenings we would secretly listen to Radio Luxembourg – the only pop music station at that time. One night in February the whole dormitory took it in turns to stay awake in order to listen to the Cassius Clay v Sonny Liston fight being broadcast live in the early hours from the USA.
David and I soon learned we had one thing in common. That was our hatred of cross-country. We would normally stagger to the finish together, being the last in the field every time. Little did either of us realise it at the time, but David had an excuse for his performance as only relatively recently he discovered he had been suffering from a very rare muscular condition for his entire life. This made it very difficult for him to exert himself to any degree and later in life would severely reduce his mobility and breathing.
One summer free weekend David started out on a trek to Virginia Water but for some reason, which I cannot recall, he decided not to complete it. After less than a day he returned to school where I was already incarcerated due to being on a “buff card” and therefore not permitted to be away from the grounds. David, on the other hand, was not permitted back into the school grounds as he was supposed to be away! Thus he had to camp out alone, out of sight of the staff, hidden in the long grass near the cricket pavilion. We managed to meet up each day and, being the only two boys there, enjoyed our time exploring areas we would not normally have dared to go to and mucking around with Graham Reynolds’ megaphone and various pieces of sports kit from the wooden shed which Graham had unwitting left unlocked. We also made a break for it and went down to the village to get some additional rations and bought two plastic aeroplanes which were launched by long pieces of elastic. All in all, we had a pretty good time.
The years came and went and David eventually became the guardian of the tool store in the underground passage. This meant that friends could expect the sharpest and best tools to do their estate work.
Soon enough it was ‘O’ level time, after which we had several weeks of no lessons and had to take on work either in the school or on some far-flung project. After a shaky start on a scheme near Fareham, where we were supposed to refurbish an office, David and I were reassigned to the task of preparing the running track for the annual sports day. We were free to arrange this as and how we wished and, using the school’s two-wheeled tractor, spent most of those summer days driving around the track towing either a large mowing attachment or a heavy roller. We took the job pretty seriously and after two weeks or so had produced a track which a delighted Graham Reynolds told us was of a very professional standard! However, we had also managed to break the tractor, which Oett later had to repair!
At the end of that final term, we agreed to keep in touch but in our haste to get out of school forgot to give each other any forwarding address or contact details. Each then slipped into another life for the next 40 years or so, and that would have been that had it not been that in the early 2000s I realised there was an Old Boys’ Society. I appealed through their website for information about some of my former school friends and started to get in touch with a few of them. After several years, I was passed an email from another Old Boy, who turned out to be David’s older brother Jim, and so through him was able to re-establish contact with David.
Since then we remained in contact regularly and, along with a small group of other Old Boys comprising Khalil Lawry, Garry King, Nick Roberts, Nick Parsons and Roger King, formed the first ever gathering of what was later to become the 1960s Group. However, as we were all from North, tongue-in-cheek we referred to ourselves as “Oett’s Boys”. At that meeting David revealed that another Old Boy, Peter Gay, had been his best man when he married Eleanor and that they had remained friends ever since.
After that first meeting of the 1960s Group, Khalil invited David and his wife to stay at his home near London. I recall David commenting that Khalil had prepared his favourite school breakfast for him as a treat – porridge, which he thoroughly enjoyed! He and David were to remain in contact ever after, with David and Eleanor staying over after several 1960s Group meetings, and when Khalil moved to Cromer they also went to visit him there. Khalil later visited and stayed with David and Eleanor in Scotland, and they kept in touch.
At the third 1960s Group gathering we also met two more of the 1963 first years from Masefield – Brian Stahelin, who became a regular, and Peter Gay – and thus brought together four of that year’s original North House intake. The group also attracted several Old Boys from other years and houses, most of whom we had not seen since our school days at Ottershaw.
In 2015 David and his wife were able to fly over to Valencia to see us, spending a week here. They made the most of their time in the city, taking in all the sights. They also both seemed to get on really well with our German Shepherd Tika, and ever after David would always ask after her. I later learned he had always wanted such a dog but felt unable to cope with one. They had hoped to repeat the visit to Spain but, alas, that was never to be.
David had worked in banking for all of his professional life, mainly as a financial advisor. He and Eleanor raised two children, Claire and James. After his mother died in 1998 he learned for the first time that he had a fourth brother living in Australia (the story of how that occurred appears in Gazette 64), and in 1999 he went there to visit his new extended family for the first time. In the years to follow, he and Eleanor made several more trips to Australia, sometimes taking other members of their family as well.
David and Eleanor both loved travelling. They visited California and often drove to continental Europe, on the way adding to their stock of wines, which David particularly enjoyed. From 2010 he would arrange his European trips to coincide with the annual 1960s Group meetings, which he would always attend with Eleanor as part of the homeward leg of their journey. Even with David’s worsening health and decreasing mobility, they still managed to continue taking these trips and to attend the 1960s Group reunion until 2016.
I think it was in 2015 that David suffered a series of convulsions which caused him to lose his driving licence. No matter, he still meticulously arranged holidays abroad and other outings, and through medication seemed gradually to be getting better. However, in early 2017, following a scan, we were to learn David had an inoperable brain tumour; he then knew his time was limited. In July 2017 for the first time since it had started, the 1960s group met without him, and a little later I went to visit him at his home in Scotland. Although his condition had clearly worsened, David remained cheerful and positive. Indeed, he had even booked, paid for and attended a very special day out at the Hospitality Suite at Old Trafford for his son James and his brothers Edward and Jimmy, as well as Martin, a very old friend from Kirkcaldy, to watch Manchester United, his favourite football club, take on Spurs. This type of gesture was typical of his generosity and thoughtfulness.
By early 2018 David was very unwell indeed. Of course we still kept in contact by ‘phone and Skype, but each time it became more and more difficult for him. We spoke briefly for the last time on the day before he passed away.
Despite all the handicaps he had to endure throughout his life, David will be most remembered for a lifetime of kindness, generosity, devotion, organisation and his stoic and positive thinking. He even donated his body to medical science, knowing it could be useful in assessing the state of others suffering from his very rare condition. I never heard him complain about anything. Despite our relatively short time together since meeting up again, David made and re-made several new friends through the 1960s Group. We are all going to miss him.
Josh Lovegrove OT 812 - North
OT 821 North - Eulogy
Before we reach the point that David’s life began, it seems apposite to give you a bit of his parents history. Norman Turner was an Englishman who joined the army aged 18. He was posted to Shanghai in 1939. Now at that time many Russian families lived in Shanghai having fled their homeland hoping to find safety and Maria Alexandra’s family was one of them. Known as Alex she and Norman were introduced and despite the circumstances, romance blossomed. Alex and Norman were married in Shanghai on 1st March 1941.
Norman was on active duty and Alex, along with other wives, was evacuated to Australia. On the ship she met another Russian wife, Mousia, and they became lifelong friends. It was in Australia that her first son Edward was born on 2nd March 1941. Alex received the ‘missing believed dead’ telegram but in fact Norman had been captured by the Japanese and was in a prisoner of war camp. He was finally released in 1946 and he and Alex were reunited in England.
Norman continued in the army and was in Folkestone when their second son Jim was born in 1947. By the time David arrived on the 22nd November 1950 the family were in Richmond, Yorkshire.
Being an army child meant that David’s formative years were fairly peripatetic and over the years that followed he and his family spent time in several countries including Malaya, Northern Rhodesia and Germany before finally returning to England. Seeing different parts of the world may sound exciting and adventurous and the experiences David had were indeed many and varied, but of course it wasn’t just his home that changed it was everything else and David told me over the course of his education he attended 13 different schools. His father’s last posting was to Aden in the Yemen, but by this time David and his older brother Jim were deemed old enough to stay in the UK and were placed in a boarding school in Surrey. David could still recall his first day and described the 4 years he spent there as being ‘Not a terribly happy experience. His father retired from the army in 1967 with the rank of Major, Quartermaster and settled in Palmers Green in North London.
By the time he was turning 17 David decided he’d had enough and left school. He had always been good at Maths and felt it made sense to utilise this skill so joined Lloyds Bank. His first branch was in Earls Court and then to Enfield.
While David was a conscientious employee he appreciated his time off too. His interests were wide and varied and reading was one of his favourite pastimes. David found books a great source of pleasure throughout his life. Although he preferred cerebral activities to physical pursuits he had a keen interest in sports and as most of you know was a lifelong supporter of Manchester United. He went to social events at the Norseman Football club, that his brothers attended, and also the Young Conservatives .It was at one of their meetings in 1970 that David first crossed paths with a young woman by the name of Eleanor Hawthorne. Eleanor had been away at teacher training college but was home for Easter, she and a friend decided they would join the Young Conservatives too, although Eleanor admitted it had more to do with the social opportunities it presented than any strong political views!
David confided that he knew very quickly that Eleanor was the woman for him although being the younger of Len and Ann’s two daughters he received a frosty reception from her father when they started dating! However when they realised how much David cared for Eleanor, Len and Ann welcomed him into the family and the three of them went on to became great allies. David was highly appreciative of Ann’s home baking, while Len introduced him to another source of enjoyment-bowls. David described himself as being ‘not a bad player’, but more about that later.
David and Eleanor continued to go out together and David proposed to Eleanor at the Easter football club disco in 1971 and they were married two years later on July 28th 1973, and so began a long and happy partnership. They lived first in a maisonette in Enfield and then in 1977 moved to a house in Waltham Cross, Hertfordshire.
In 1976 David felt he could go no further in the bank and moved to The Leeds Permanent Building Society, firstly in Dalston, East London and then to Edmonton, North London. David was very happy in the Leeds and felt as if he was part of a family. When his Regional Manager asked him over drinks one Friday evening if he would like to move to a new branch opening in Hertfordshire David responded with ‘I’d rather move to Scotland’. Eleanor was born in Tottenham but both her parents were Scottish and although neither David nor Eleanor had lived there they felt an affiliation with Scotland. David’s manager never forgot his ‘throwaway’ comment, so when a position came up in Kirkcaldy the following year David and Eleanor decided to take the plunge. In January 1979 David relocated to Fife and Eleanor joined him at Easter. The move turned out to be an extremely positive one and David spoke of how happy they had been in Kirkcaldy. Eleanor’s parents also returned to Scotland that year, settling in Montrose where Ann had lived until the move to London.
Something else that made them very happy was the arrival of their son James in December’81 and then their daughter Claire completed the family in November ’83, the day before David’s birthday, so a double celebration.
David’s parents were also coming to live in Kirkcaldy but in December ’82 his father suffered a fatal heart attack so his mother came on her own. As both of his brothers were working abroad he looked after his mother for the next 16 years.
When I asked David what his family meant to him he simply said ‘Everything’ and he was clearly very proud of his son and daughter. Family time was important to David and while he worked hard to support his wife and children he made sure he spent time with them too. Family holidays were a particular source of pleasure and he spoke fondly of the many camping holidays they had in France when James and Claire were growing up and eventually upgrading to a static caravan. There were also the holidays in Portugal.
With their children growing David and Eleanor decided they needed more space and were delighted to settle into 80 Dudddingston Drive, just around the corner from their old house in Barry Road.
David had continued to play bowls and after they moved to Scotland he became a member of Kirkcaldy Bowling Club. He did very well there being President one year and also took a team as far as the area finals but unfortunately a mix up with the date meant he missed the final match in Ayrshire and the team took a substitute instead.
In the meantime David was still working with the Leeds as an Assistant manager and his job gave him a lot of satisfaction. He became a Financial Advisor in 1992 and he was very successful. Then in 1995 the Halifax took over the Leeds and David was part of a new team including Esther, Anna, Jenny, Sybil and Dave. For 5 years he was one of the top advisors in the country and he was well rewarded for all his hard work, he and Eleanor went on trips to Gleneagles, Dublin and Barcelona, David even had the opportunity to fly on Concorde.
There were other trips that were more special for David because of their personal nature. In 1998, after his mother had died Jim told David that their mother had had another son while in Australia and had left him behind when she had returned to England. Her friend Mousia had kept the secret all those years. David went in 1999 and met up with Bob and his family, he was to return another 6 times with Eleanor. Each trip generating more memorable moments; among them a visit to the Barrier Reef, a champagne sunset cruise on a catamaran, Bob and Dell’s wedding on the beach and Sue and Adam’s wedding. But perhaps the most precious memory of all was Bob’s 60th birthday when his three brothers surprised him by making the trip to Australia, it was the one and only time the four brothers were together. A very special event indeed.
While Claire’s talents lay in languages, James showed an aptitude for Maths like his dad, and it also meant a lot to David that his son shared his love of Man U. David and his friend Martyn would go down to Manchester to meet up with James and they would go to a match.
By now the Halifax had merged with the Bank of Scotland, creating the new HBOS and David’s job had undergone another transformation. Gradually these changes began to take a toll on his health and in 2007 he decided to take his pension and reduce his working week to four days. A couple of years later David’s health deteriorated further and he was admitted to hospital with fluid on his legs. He was treated for the problem but referred for further tests which uncovered the fact that he had an extremely rare genetic condition that had been affecting his muscles since birth, explaining why he had been unable to do certain things.
David has always been a practical man and he dealt with the news with stoicism and a determination to make the most of the situation. He and Eleanor continued to travel and as well as going to Australia had holidays in France, Spain and Portugal.
In March 2017 there came the bad news that David had an inoperable brain tumour which would only be treated with radiotherapy and medication.
Once again David resolved to carry on living his life to the best of his now restricted abilities and in May (2017) he and Eleanor spent a wonderful day at the Chelsea Flower Show. Eleanor drove and they stopped on the way down and also went to Oxford to see James on the way home. It was very busy, and very hot, but David’s mobility scooter helped enormously and he was extremely touched by how kind and helpful everyone was. Indeed he spoke of the incredible support he’d received from so many people, friends, neighbours, staff at the Western and how these kindnesses had restored his faith in human nature. David continued to be under the care of Dr. Zeidler and maintained a positive approach.
It was clear from talking to David that he had led a very full and fulfilling life, one that had presented him with various challenges, but which had also brought him much joy, the source of which was undoubtedly his family and friends.